it’s getting nearer and it’s making me… nauseous.

OMG. it’s JUNE already! geez! I should’ve gone to USA for GYLC in less than a month (21 June, hello???).

it’s getting much nearer and it’s making me much more nervous.

Honestly, I kinda scared to travel alone since this is my first alone-travelling and it’s so so far far away from home.

jujur #1 : gue takut nyasar dan nggak bisa balik. seriously. mengingat ntar gue harus transit di Korea segala. tapi bokap gue bilang, “yaelah lo bawa duit ini nanti, tenang aja lah!” okay, that was kinda soothing, but still, I kinda scared.

jujur #2 : gue takut nggak bisa blend in dengan anak2 lain di sana. gue takut di sana dianggep nggak nyambung atau apalah. heeelllpppp!

jujur #3 : gue takut nggak ngerti apa2 di sana. well, the conference will mostly talk about politics, economics, and other things related to the world problems right now. and to be honest, that is not really my main interests. okay, I do know about some world’s problems, but I don’t really know what to do with it, you know. I just know it. I never think about to find the solution of the problem. I’d rather be the “audience”.

yes, I feel sooooooo freakishly nervous while I should feel excited about it. I don’t know, it seems like I don’t prepare much for this because I don’t know what to prepare. and it’s because seems like everyone knows everything. I mean, some people I met on facebook who are also attending GYLC , they seem so ready for this. they know a lot about everything, they got so many achievements, they’re actively involved in some organizations, they’re into politics, they’re taking law at the university, they got scholarships, and so on, and so on.

Me?? I don’t have to tell, right? haha.

OH MY GOD! this is really making me craaaazy! I suppose to be have fun with it, get crazy, get the experience and all stuff. but this turned out to be stressing me out. I’m so scared of all things. I’m such an anxious person, you know. and I hate that!

when my anxieties emerge, nothing can stop me to think about some bad things. and now my thoughts just mixed up, collide into something unpleasant to think about. I don’t even have the interest anymore to go to Bandung tomorrow with my friends. DAMN IT! SCREW YOU, BAD THOUGHTS!

PS : okay, so this one kinda cheer me up a little bit.

NYEEEETT! TAYLOR LAUTNER GANTENGNYA GA NAHAAAAAAAAANNN!! I’m EXTREMELY GLAD when found out that he is no longer wearing his ugly wig! hahahhaa.

ndhee